( notes for alex, jean, morgana, anya, rogue, babs, and zane )

[Public]

[Charles is in his room, which looks much the same as ever - the comfortable, organized clutter of academia everywhere, along with a couple notable artifacts scattered here and there, like the model prehistoric sea creatures Anya had gotten him for Christmas sitting on his desk - and he looks... good. More or less the same brand of content he's been since he got back from his trip home, although there's a sort of unnatural formality to the way he's sitting and addressing the camera.]

It's been two years and three months since I first made my deal with the Admiral. When I did, I had just suffered a variety of great personal loss. I was depressed, desperately hurt, and incredibly frightened of what the future had to offer for both me, personally, and for my friends and family, and I'll be the first to admit that the Barge wasn't entirely helpful in alleviating those worries.

But I'll also be the first to admit that I wouldn't have what I do now without it, and I know I'm not the only one who can say that. I also know that to some of you, I'm likely sounding like a broken record, but as this is the last time I'm going to have opportunity to say something like this for the time being, [And his smile falters a bit at that, because he's said it, he's leaving, he has to go home.] I just want to tell you that what you're feeling right now - the fear and the anger and the sadness - is all legitimate. You are allowed to feel upset, you're allowed to feel defeated and trapped, but it will get better. You will get past it. You will walk away from this and have a future you deserve. And at the end, this is worth it.

[He means it. He's been tortured, hurt, killed, watched friends die, lived a dozen different lives, been blamed for the actions of other counterparts, and a hundred other things, and he has a future to return home to.

That's made it - all of it - more than worth it.]

I'll be leaving tomorrow morning, if anyone's got any last minute business they'd like to address. It's time. [And he feels badly about that, because he'd wanted to stay longer, but he knows he'll always find a reason to stay, and... he really can't. He misses Erik, he misses Raven and the others, and he wants to get the school up and running. Do some real good in his world. He can't do that here.]

And if anyone's got anything to pass along to Tony, Erik or Raven, I'd be more than happy to drop it off.

[Private to River]

I hope you take up Jean and Rogue's offer to learn more about your gifts. If you're ever in need of a place to stay after your time here has come to an end, we'd be happy to have you.

[Private to Crichton]

I know you're probably tired of me meddling in your business, [It's mostly a joke!] But I know Jean would be more than happy to be a resource you can turn to in dealing with Harvey. I'm sorry I couldn't do more while I was here.

[Charles is considerably less composed than Erik was when he clicks on his comm and addresses the Barge. He's happy, but he's spent so long waiting for this to happen, has spent so long here being put through literal hell, listening to people tell him time and time again that it was hopeless for them, that they weren't going to be any different and while he'd never really believed them, it's still good to know that those people had been wrong, that there are going to be challenges in the future but they'll be able to face it together, he won't have to be alone, and he can't stay on this ship for a second longer. Not right now.

So he's smiling, desperate relief radiating off him in waves. His face is still flushed, his eyes a little red, but he absolutely doesn't care less that it looks like he's been crying because this is what he's been waiting for for two very long years.]

I have to go. [And again it hits him that he can go home, that they're going to fix this and he lets out an almost disbelieving laugh.] There's a very urgent matter I need to attend to back home, and it can't wait any longer.

[And there's a part of him that's terrified they'll go back and this will all have turned out to be some kind of cosmic joke, but sounds more excited than anything else, to go back and hope this plays out the right way this time, that they're finally getting their second chance.]

I can't- [Some of the excitement fades, and he takes a breath before continuing.] Knowing the Admiral, I can't promise I'll be back, obviously, but I'll try. I intend to come back.

In the mean time, try not to get into too much trouble.

( Notes for Alana, Alex, Jean, Anya, Morgana and Zane )

( Backdated Spam for Alex )

[Public Video]

[Charles is in the garden, which he still has very reliably looking after since Ivy's departure with the assistance of several others. There's not much to do with most of the ordinary outdoor plants right now, what with it being January, but it's still a nice place to come and think and make sure the snow hasn't hurt anything too badly.

He's been out here for a while, properly bundled up with a wool coat and fingerless gloves, but his cheeks are red and his skin's pretty pale, so obviously it's still pretty cold outside. Still, he looks cheerful and genuinely excited when he launches into what he has to say.]

While farmers and herders had understood the benefit of selective breeding for thousands of years, the actual mechanisms governing inheritance were almost completely unknown. After people began to develop more sophisticated microscopes and started studying cells, they became more interested in discovering how a trait is passed from parent to offspring, and the first man to get it more or less right was a relatively unknown monk named Gregor Mendel. He crossbred pea plants, and his work helped scientists finally understand how hereditary actually works. [So basically, it's awesome.]

I know it's a bit early to plant peas out in the garden, but I thought it might be fun to try and recreate his experiment in the spring, if anyone's interested in seeing some very basic genetics in action. We could start a few plants in the greenhouse, first, and move them out here once it gets warmer.

[Private to Steph]

[This message comes after he's come back inside, and he's more or less gone from enthusiastic science geek/teacher to calm, supportive voice of reason. He wears many hats.]

I'm sure you're aware, but Dr. Banner asked me to touch base with you after the holidays if I hadn't already heard from you per your agreement to begin speaking to a therapist. Since I hadn't, I thought it might be time to touch base.

[Open Spam following Port]

[It's a little distressing, how easy it is for things to return to what passes for normal around here, because Charles finds himself sliding back into routine more quickly than he'd like to think he might have. Admittedly, that's probably better than it's been in the past, but it's still strange to think about.

He spends a fair amount of time hovering around the infirmary, checking in on Jean and Barbara and Rogue and trying to be useful where he can be. He's not a doctor - well, not that kind of doctor - but he definitely is fairly well versed in first aid, not to mention just being someone to talk to or listen if a patient needs it. He's also still attending meals in the dining hall instead of holing up by himself somewhere, and although sometimes he'll have his nose stuck in a book, he's more than willing to put it down and be social.

There's also his regular morning (and afternoon and evening sometimes, if he feels like it, which generally means he's overwhelmed and in need of an outlet) run in the CES, and he does actually make use of the CTS too, now that Arthur is gone and Babs is in the infirmary. He needs to keep practicing somehow, after all.]

[Filtered away from Creed]

Mark brought this up and I thought it would be worth mentioning: as we're the only two on board trained to counsel others, if anyone feels they're in need of someone to talk to in light of what's happened, [He figures clarifying in port is fairly unnecessary, everyone knows what's going on.] We're both willing to make ourselves available to listen or discuss the matter confidentially with you.

( Private messages for Alex, Anya, Morgana, Zane, Kelsier, Raven and Creed )

Zane murdered Touko Fukawa earlier this evening, and he's going to be held under house arrest in his room for a week. If anyone has any questions, feel free to direct them to me.

[Warden Filter + Erik]

Erik, Alex and I are going to be guarding the door. If anyone else is interested in taking a shift, let me know. [He figures Kelsier at least might be interested in knowing what's up. B(]

[Private to Cassel]

Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

[Private to Chromie]

I'm trying to get him to talk about why it happened. Once I have more information, I'll let you know.

[Warden Filter + Doyle - backdated to After Alex's Post]

I want to make one thing explicitly clear: Ben was not responsible for the attack on Dr. Kozak. He's been thoroughly cleared, and it's fairly evident that someone is trying to frame him for the act. Rhade and several other people are investigating the matter thoroughly, and if anyone has any further information, we would appreciate hearing it.

[And anyone who goes after Ben anyway will have quite a bit of hell rained down on them. B(]

[CTS Spam for Erik, Jean and Alex]

( so come on, put on your war paint )

[Private to Zane]

[He's not really sure what to make of the pairing announcements in some ways, but he's hoping it's a good thing that they've already had some time to get used to each other, that there's some manner of trust there. He knows he screwed up with Felix and feels like he's been more or less useless to Morgana, but Zane seems like someone who needs some positive direction, and he's hopeful he can provide that.]

I've got your file. We should probably arrange a time to meet. Do you have a preference? [He assumes you've been let out of Zero by now, but.]

[Filtered to Erik, Jean and Alex]

[Charles sounds more serious than tired, although there's certainly a sort of weariness in his voice because this is not exactly a fun topic to be discussing.] Considering it seems as though whatever destination the Barge is heading towards isn't exactly going to be a pleasant one, I'd highly recommend everyone taking precautions in case we're left somewhere dangerous without access to our abilities or other means of defending ourselves. ["Like the Vanquish" is going unsaid, but the three of you know why he'd be overly cautious about an announcement like that, so.]

Obviously there's no guarantee that we'll be able to bring supplies with us, but in case there is, I'd strongly suggest making certain your flight suits are on hand and undamaged, and potentially even packing an emergency kit to leave with them.

[He knows he's sounding kind of bossy, but he's worried and doesn't want anything to happen - even though it probably will anyway - so he's maybe stepping up and saying something about this instead of just letting things happen. B(]

( More Notes for Erik, Barbara, Arthur, Gwaine, Bruce, Merlin, Rorschach, Kon and the Admiral )

[Since the event ended, Charles has more or less been holed up in his room sleeping it off, and still sounds pretty drained when he actually starts talking, voice not quite droning, but definitely more tired and worn out - almost disappointed, really - than enthusiastic.]

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

[There's a short pause, and he continues, now almost sounding distracted.] It's an old Cherokee fable. For those of you who aren't from Earth, or are unfamiliar with this particular subject, the Cherokee are a Native American people who have historically settled in the south eastern parts of North America.

[There's another short pause, like he's considering maybe saying something else, but the feed clicks off without any further elaboration after a few seconds.]

[Private to Merlin & Arthur]

I don't know if you've been told, [Or care. :V] but Morgana's vanished.

[Private to Alex]

[This he actually manages to sound more or less like himself for, because he really is happy for Alex.]

I hear some congratulations are in order.

That was a bit of a rougher landing than usual. Has anyone been keeping track of who's gone missing? [An official head count of who fell overboard and who got lucky seemed like a good idea, in theory.]

[Private to the X-Fam]

I was thinking, considering our history with this sort of thing, [And yes, he's including himself in this, but he's allowed to >C at you kids/Erik for not being safer, too even though Erik's been pretty good at not doing stupid shit like almost getting strangled/beat up/stabbed to death, good job Erik.] it would probably be best to establish some kind of telepathic link to make sure we can still communicate with each other and call for help if necessary.

[Or, you know, stick together, that would be good, too.

And yes, he is planning on going out whether you guys are or not because SCIENCE!!]

[Open Spam]

[It's probably ridiculous, to venture out into a port, especially considering his history with this sort of thing, but he has his telepathy and gear to survive underwater - thankfully no gills - and that's good enough for him.

He's a scientist, and despite past scares - anything involving the Vanquish was safely boxed up out of sight, out of mind for the time being - he does get a little stir crazy on the Barge. There's only so much reading and revising and chess you could stand before you wanted a change in scenery, and so he'd left the ship, and started exploring. He can feel the hum of intelligent minds somewhere out in the blackness, but they seem distant and largely nonthreatening, so he doesn't bother them, even if he keeps a mental ear out, just in case.

Just because he's willing to take a risk doesn't mean he's going to be stupid about this.

While he doesn't wander too far from the light of the Barge, the ruins end up interesting him more than the wrecks. He's no archaeologist, but he's still got questions about how this city wound up on the bottom of the ocean, and he's careful in handling any artifacts, generally just brushing off grime rather than picking them up and playing with them.

And maybe mentally chattering to Erik occasionally about anything particularly interesting, or any theories he might have about it. Maybe Atlantis really was real in this world, wherever it was.]

[ooc: Feel free to play with the timeline a little if it works better for you/your character, I don't have anything super specific planned for Charles for this port, so multiples/fuzzy time/etc. is totally cool with me. c:]

[Private to Lua]

Anya's asked me to share the conversation we had during the flood a few weeks ago with you. When would be a good time for you?

[Private to Merlin]

How long has Morgana been back? [He is willing to bet that you've known she's back for a while. B(]

[Filtered to Jean and Alex]

Arkady wanted to speak with me and a few other mutants about things she's experienced in her world. Would you two be interested in coming along with me?

[Open Spam for the CES]

[Erik's assessment to Moira during the flood - that Charles wasn't depressed and was still an optimist - was accurate. He'd come a long way from the crushing, oppressive, miserable depression that had followed him since Cuba, and things felt better, if not perfect.

But - as it often seemed to happen - recently, things had gone from fine to getting progressively harder to deal with, and Charles needed space and time to deal with it, to give himself time to rebuild his defenses and come back ready for more of it, which was why he was currently running through the CES in sweats and had been for the better part of an hour. The CES was currently a forest, probably somewhere in North America or maybe Europe. The air was chilly and damp, but not enough to be uncomfortable, and when he finally stopped, panting, leaning against a tree, he squinted up at the sky and trying to determine if it was actually going to start raining or not.

Ever since his spine had been healed, he'd maybe overcompensated for the time he'd spent in the wheelchair, or maybe it had something to do with what had happened with the Vanquish, but either way, he often went on runs in the morning. Today was different in that he was pushing himself to the point of exhaustion, because as long as he kept moving, it felt like he was doing something, allowed him to turn his mind off for a while, instead of examining his guilt about what he'd done to Moira, or his conflicting feelings about Anya, or his worry about Morgana. It was hard not to feel trapped, here, but the CES helped, and so he didn't move to leave just yet, wanting to catch his breath before he headed back in.]

Tony Stark's graduated and elected to return home for now, so I'm afraid congratulations might have to be directed towards one of his teammates to bring back with them when they depart, or otherwise wait until he returns. [If he does, because man seriously Charles would not blame him at all if he elected to stay home permanently.

But then again, Charles has hated the Barge for a long time so maybe he's a little biased. :V]

[Friends Filter]

Are you alright?

[ooc: The one friendly conversation rule applies to the filter! Em says Tony would have said goodbye in person to at least Charles, Pepper, Steve and Banner, but otherwise he just peaced out.]

[Charles is sitting at a desk in his room, dressed in one of his usual dark blue sweater/lighter blue colored shirts combos, and over all looks very put together, even though he's sort of been chewing over making this post and how he wants to say all of this for a while before actually turning on the video feed.]

My counterpart during the breach worked for the secret facility in Bargewell, trying to rehabilitate mutants and aliens who could learn to cope with and control their abilities and pass for human among a normal population. [Which isn't a secret to some, but will be news to others.] He honestly wanted to help them, and thought the facility was a safer place to adjust, away from people who might think to cause them harm for being different.

Because- [And it's silly, to have to hesitate before saying this, because he's certainly not hiding what he is or what he's capable of.] He was a mutant, too. And he lived his whole life terrified of who he was and what he was capable of, and what might happen if anyone ever found out about what he could do. He spent his whole life being afraid because he thought there was something wrong with him for not being "normal".

[He pauses, considering what to say next, because he can't help but think of Raven, and how he basically made her feel the same way because she was different, because she couldn't be herself without exposing what she really was, and it just wasn't safe to be parading around yelling "mutant and proud!" from the rooftops.

But he could have been more supportive. He could have told her she was always beautiful, no matter what color her skin was, and he's still not entirely sure he's ever going to have a chance to make up for that. Or ever see her again.]

I know I've had it easier than a lot of people with supernatural abilities. I've always had to hide what I'm capable of, but it's not like I have something physical to hide that marks me as different from everyone else, and so I've never felt like there was anything wrong with me, or been told that there might be or was.

But I have known people who have heard that said, and, worse, actually believe that's true after being told it for so long. And it isn't. There is nothing wrong with us for being different. We shouldn't have to be afraid, or ashamed, and we shouldn't have to hide. [Erik's words taste almost bitter in his mouth, and he has to take a breath before he continues.]

Obviously, we do, and me saying this here isn't going to change that, for those of us who come from worlds where that's the norm for people like us. But we aren't there now, and there's no reason to hide or be afraid, because there are people here who understand what you're going through now and what you've already been through before coming here. You're not alone.

We're no better or worse than people without abilities just because we can do things they can't. We're all just people. We're flawed, and we make poor decisions, but that has nothing to do with being able to read minds, or change our appearance, or use magic. It's time for us to accept what we are, and that's people, not monsters or supermen.

( Notes for Alex, Jean and Doyle )