SEVENTY FOUR ✖ TEXT

[wedonot]

Just so everyone's aware, I'll be making myself available for anyone who feels that they're in need of counseling in light of what happened.

On a similar note, especially in light of Mark's disappearance, if anyone is interested in volunteering as a counselor to those who might need it, I'd be happy to discuss how to make that work.

[Unless you're a cannibalistic serial killer, in which case you will need to find somewhere else to hang out. :|]

[Filtered to various Friends & Family]

I apologize for not being in touch sooner. I'm alright, and I'd appreciate hearing from you when you've got opportunity.

[Private to Anya]

I hear some congratulations are in order.

[Private to Alex]

Can I come see you?

[ooc: Charles is unaffected by the flood, but if you'd like to be all cuddly and fond with him, I am def up for it. :]b If you think you should be on the filter, you are, and if anyone wants to backdate anything for post-MirrorBarge fallout, I am down!]

Comments

voice

[godsays]

Talking is the most important part. Letting people change on their own. Not pushing them one way or another.

You need someone to talk to.

private, voice

[wedonot]

[ZANE YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT WHERE PEOPLE CAN SEE!!!]

I know you're probably not going to believe this, but I think I'm alright. [Maybe??? He's mostly just confused. B(]

private, voice

[godsays]

You're hurt. The long kind, the kind that doesn't even turn to scars because the wound's being reopened.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I know, but I'm going to be alright. I was mostly just worried about Erik and the kids.

private, voice

[godsays]

And what happens when you're not all right, again? Who takes care of you?

private, voice

[wedonot]

Erik, usually. Alex and Jean, Morgana sometimes. Raven. [And a little wryly:] Myself, when I remember to.

You're obviously checking in on me.

private, voice

[godsays]

Not as often as I should.

private, voice

[wedonot]

What do you want to talk about?

private, voice

[godsays]

I mean I don't take care of you enough. I think I should - more than I do.

It was all right to just focus on myself when I was an inmate. That's more important. Now I'm not.

private, voice

[wedonot]

Well, focusing on yourself is still a little important.

private, voice

[godsays]

I don't like being selfish. That's how I am when I'm at my worst.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I know this is sort of ridiculous of me to say, considering I'm not exactly good at doing this myself, but looking after yourself every once and a while isn't a bad thing.

private, voice

[godsays]

I'll be all right.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I know you will.

private, voice

[godsays]

You still need someone to talk to.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I have people to talk to. Honestly.

private, voice

[godsays]

Is that why you're shouting at Iris?

private, voice

[wedonot]

I'm shouting at Iris because I'm tired of people assuming the worst of me or using me as an emotional punching bag when all I've ever tried to do is help.

private, voice

[godsays]

You don't usually, though.

Lose your temper.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I died, Zane. And it almost destroyed the person I care about more than anyone else in the world. I'm also trying to reconcile myself with the memories of effectively being him on that other Barge, along with incredibly unpleasant memories of my counterpart's childhood, and the fact that someone I love like a son was killed, too.

Now, I'm not trying to say that I'm psychologically or emotionally damaged beyond hope of repair, but considering I haven't exactly had much time to put much distance between myself and all that, I'm not really in the mood to have someone take out their frustrations on me when I've done literally nothing to deserve it.

private, voice

[godsays]

That's what I mean.

It hurt Erik. You can't talk to him about it, then. It just means you're spreading the pain around, not getting rid of it.

private, voice

[wedonot]

Erik and I are fine. I just need a little more time to readjust, and in the mean time, I don't want to be the target for other people's bad feelings. I don't understand why that's too much to ask.

private, voice

[godsays]

I wasn't saying you weren't, and I wasn't saying it was too much to ask.

You're not listening to me, Charles. I'm not taking Iris's side. But you're angrier than she should have been able to make you. You're hurt.

And that's all right.

private, voice

[wedonot]

I know it is, Zane. And I'm trying to explain where I'm coming from, and you're effectively telling me that I'm not processing this correctly, or that I don't have a reliable enough support system, and I don't agree with that. I've said I'd be willing to talk about what happened, but you changed the subject. I don't know what you want from me.

private, voice

[godsays]

[ Zane begins to wonder, here, if Charles is challenging him on purpose. Testing Zane's patience.

Charles' responses seem... not quite right. Agitated, enough so that Zane is worried about him. He doesn't think he ever implied that Charles is doing anything wrong, just that - he needs more than what he has. Deserves more, maybe. ] I'm not saying what you have isn't good enough.

I don't - want anything from you. And if you think that, maybe I should go.