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SIXTY SIX ✖ SPAM & VIDEO
[Open Spam following Port]
[It's a little distressing, how easy it is for things to return to what passes for normal around here, because Charles finds himself sliding back into routine more quickly than he'd like to think he might have. Admittedly, that's probably better than it's been in the past, but it's still strange to think about.
He spends a fair amount of time hovering around the infirmary, checking in on Jean and Barbara and Rogue and trying to be useful where he can be. He's not a doctor - well, not that kind of doctor - but he definitely is fairly well versed in first aid, not to mention just being someone to talk to or listen if a patient needs it. He's also still attending meals in the dining hall instead of holing up by himself somewhere, and although sometimes he'll have his nose stuck in a book, he's more than willing to put it down and be social.
There's also his regular morning (and afternoon and evening sometimes, if he feels like it, which generally means he's overwhelmed and in need of an outlet) run in the CES, and he does actually make use of the CTS too, now that Arthur is gone and Babs is in the infirmary. He needs to keep practicing somehow, after all.]
[Filtered away from Creed]
Mark brought this up and I thought it would be worth mentioning: as we're the only two on board trained to counsel others, if anyone feels they're in need of someone to talk to in light of what's happened, [He figures clarifying in port is fairly unnecessary, everyone knows what's going on.] We're both willing to make ourselves available to listen or discuss the matter confidentially with you.
[Private Separately to Alex, Anya, Morgana, Zane and Kelsier]
Are you all right? [He knows he's asked Zane already, and Kelsier's likely to try and brush it off even if he's not (as are basically every one of the others), but he wants to be sure.]
[Private to Raven]
[... Just kidding, after a lot of hesitation, he's just going to content himself with asking Erik how she's doing. B(]
[Private to Creed, a while later]
[Again, he's debated saying anything for a long, long time. There's a large part of him that would like to wash his hands of the issue entirely, but as much as he doesn't feel sorry for what happened to him, there's still a part of him that wants to know why. He's obviously not beyond redemption - or at least, he isn't according to the Admiral - so he wants to understand the motivation, especially if it will help prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future.
So he sounds and looks composed, curious, definitely serious; from this communication whatever Creed had hoped to do to him - however personally or intentionally - doesn't appear to be sticking.]
What, exactly, were you hoping to achieve here?
[It's a little distressing, how easy it is for things to return to what passes for normal around here, because Charles finds himself sliding back into routine more quickly than he'd like to think he might have. Admittedly, that's probably better than it's been in the past, but it's still strange to think about.
He spends a fair amount of time hovering around the infirmary, checking in on Jean and Barbara and Rogue and trying to be useful where he can be. He's not a doctor - well, not that kind of doctor - but he definitely is fairly well versed in first aid, not to mention just being someone to talk to or listen if a patient needs it. He's also still attending meals in the dining hall instead of holing up by himself somewhere, and although sometimes he'll have his nose stuck in a book, he's more than willing to put it down and be social.
There's also his regular morning (and afternoon and evening sometimes, if he feels like it, which generally means he's overwhelmed and in need of an outlet) run in the CES, and he does actually make use of the CTS too, now that Arthur is gone and Babs is in the infirmary. He needs to keep practicing somehow, after all.]
[Filtered away from Creed]
Mark brought this up and I thought it would be worth mentioning: as we're the only two on board trained to counsel others, if anyone feels they're in need of someone to talk to in light of what's happened, [He figures clarifying in port is fairly unnecessary, everyone knows what's going on.] We're both willing to make ourselves available to listen or discuss the matter confidentially with you.
[Private Separately to Alex, Anya, Morgana, Zane and Kelsier]
Are you all right? [He knows he's asked Zane already, and Kelsier's likely to try and brush it off even if he's not (as are basically every one of the others), but he wants to be sure.]
[Private to Raven]
[... Just kidding, after a lot of hesitation, he's just going to content himself with asking Erik how she's doing. B(]
[Private to Creed, a while later]
[Again, he's debated saying anything for a long, long time. There's a large part of him that would like to wash his hands of the issue entirely, but as much as he doesn't feel sorry for what happened to him, there's still a part of him that wants to know why. He's obviously not beyond redemption - or at least, he isn't according to the Admiral - so he wants to understand the motivation, especially if it will help prevent this sort of thing from happening in the future.
So he sounds and looks composed, curious, definitely serious; from this communication whatever Creed had hoped to do to him - however personally or intentionally - doesn't appear to be sticking.]
What, exactly, were you hoping to achieve here?
text / oh so private
Dear Raven,
You're right. I don't know what to say, but I could never, ever hate you, and I don't think you're useless. I don't know Angel or the others as well as you do, but if they've given you any fraction of the support I've gotten from the others, I completely understand.
I'm sorry you didn't have more time before hitting a port like this. It wasn't as bad as some of the others we've been to, but I don't think I have to explain to you why having your abilities restricted is so distressing.
I know you said you won't tell anyone anything I write to you, but there's a part of me that's afraid to tell you this. It's not because I don't trust you, but because I've always been afraid of admitting it to myself, too. My feeling lost isn't your fault. I've felt lost a good deal of the time I've been here. Sometimes I'm afraid of how much I've changed in the last two years. I've seen so many terrible things that sometimes I can't sleep at night, no matter what I do to try and forget. In several of the psychology courses I've had to take, we discussed the effect combat had on soldiers during the war, and there's a part of me that wonders if a good deal of us - myself included - are suffering from something very similar. It's not quite Post Traumatic Stress in every case, and I'm hesitant to start flinging diagnoses around when I'm the patient in question, but I don't think I'll ever be used to seeing people I care about get hurt.
If you do decide to hold a performance, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat. I'm glad you've found something you enjoy doing here, and I meant what I said about you being a good warden. Realizing that most of the people here are more hurt than anything else is important, and I know you'll be able to help whoever you get assigned to.
I hope you know that it wasn't your fault that Victor hurt those people, and I'm glad you wrote to me. I miss you, and I'm beyond relieved that you're not hurt. If you want to write again, you know I'm always happy to listen.
Love,
Charles
P.S. The Cheshire Cat is still on my desk.
text / oh so private
I know it was not my fault. What I don't know is what to do about him. He implies a lot of things. Rogue was at least straightforward about what she knew. Yes, it was scary not to have my powers. I guess that is when it is important to have people to protect you.
I am starting to believe that we have terrible timing. I wonder what would have happened if I had been here earlier. In a lot of ways those two years of yours aren't real to me. It's hard for me to believe that you have been for so long without me. It's like I woke up and the world was different overnight. I was afraid of the worst when I came here and that isn't what happened.
Remember the last time I told you I was proud of you? I'm telling you again. I'm proud of you, and I think you're doing right for Erik. You're wiser than you were when I saw you last before the Barge.
Love,
Raven
P.S. Watch him and remember to smile.
text / oh so private
What has he been implying? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I've found it helps to collaborate on this sort of thing, in case something becomes an issue later. You wouldn't believe some of the things Erik and I have been told by some of the people who have come and gone here.
I hope you don't mind me saying this, but when we do have fair warning about ports, it's a good idea to pack some supplies with you in case we wind up somewhere like this again. I usually bring food, blankets, clothes and weapons, along with the flight suit Hank made for us before Cuba. If you have yours with you, I know someone who can probably reinforce it a bit better. A friend of hers helped modify mine, Erik's, Alex's and Jean's.
And I hope you don't take this the wrong way either, but I'm glad you weren't here, earlier. I don't know what the future holds, but there's enough unfortunate things in the past that I'm glad you weren't here to witness first hand.
I can't tell you how much it means to hear that. I hated to think you thought I wanted to hurt him and you, too, or mold you both into something you didn't want to be. The truth is I've loved you both just the way you are from the first time we met, and no matter what else has happened, that hasn't changed. I don't think it can change. You're my family, and I will always love you, even if we don't always agree on things. Please don't ever doubt that.
Love,
Charles
P.S. I'll do my best. He certainly adds a bit of color to my room!
text / oh so private / 'your room needs color' says she of the hideous wallpaper
I'm still deciding if I want to talk about it. What have you and Erik been told?
I have the flight suit. I think the Admiral can get me the rest. You're right, that is a really good idea, even if a port turns out to be as innocent as Los Angeles. Who do you know that can reinforce it?
I'm not glad I wasn't here. I think a lot has happened to you without me, and I don't like that. It seems wrong to have our lives separate and never touching. I'll be better at being a sister once I find out what I want, I promise.
Your room needs color anyway.
Love, Raven
text / oh so private / man seriously raven what is that
Not that much. He knows us, and apparently my counterpart tried to help him before, but beyond that, I don't have many specifics. And as several of the people he targeted are members of the X-Men in their world, I'm not exactly convinced it was a coincidence.
(And for the record, I didn't come up with that name, Moira suggested it.)
Barbara Gordon probably can. I'll mention it to her once she's out of the infirmary.
Take as much time as you need. I don't plan on going anywhere.
Love,
Charles