wedonot | EIGHTEEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

[Private to the Admiral]

I'm still waiting on an answer. [He'll send daily messages until he gets a response. :|]

[Spam for the Deck]

[It wasn't really unusual for Charles to feel some level of isolation from other people, humans and mutants alike, especially recently - had Cuba really already been nearly seven months ago? - and it had really only gotten worse since he'd arrived on the Barge.

And honestly, he didn't really mind. The isolation came more from a place of what people expected from him than because he was different or whatever else. He was supposed to be the mature one, the person with all the answers, who couldn't be vulnerable because everyone else needed a rock to lean on when their worlds were spiraling out of control. And he was happy to be that person for whoever needed it.

But it made days like today difficult, because he wanted someone to talk to about all of this, and while months ago he would have approached Erik without hesitation, he felt like he couldn't be honest with him anymore, even besides the fact that a large part of what was weighing on Charles had to do with him.

So he'd decided he couldn't take just sitting around in his room anymore and headed up to the deck. Months ago, he might have gone for a run, but that obviously wasn't an option anymore, and so he just stopped a few feet away from the deck railing, watching their progress through space. After a few minutes, he slowly started relaxing his telepathic control, not enough to be noticeable by most people, probably. Just enough to make sure no one could sneak up on him and take some of the tension off. Keeping himself fully pulled back was almost like keeping a muscle tensed indefinitely, and he needed the reprieve, however slight it actually was.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Charles liked being the Charles in this sort of conversation. It was comfortable, and what he was good at, so he wasn't looking to change it up right now.]

I'm sorry. Who was it?

Valmont. He's - it's good that he's gone. He graduated, he deserves it. I'll just miss him.

I suppose you could visit sometime, if you wanted. Wherever he decides to go after leaving here.

Yeah.

[He hooks his elbows over the backrest of the bench, looking up into the 'sky' over their heads for a few moments. Then he glances over.]

How are you actually, Charles?

[He glances over at Merlin for a moment before looking away again and shrugging a little. Casually.]

I'm fine. [But there was a magnet with a frowny face on it in his pocket that said otherwise, and he supposed Merlin deserved a slightly more honest answer. Even if he really didn't want to admit just how angry and frustrated he was.] A bit peeved with the Admiral, if I'm really being honest, but it doesn't do to dwell, I suppose.

[Merlin frowns and sits up, folding his hands in his lap.]

He hasn't answered you?

[Kind of what he expects.]

[He reaches into his pocket for the magnet, holding it out for Merlin to see.]

"That decision will be the responsibility of his Warden," because "with all due respect, Professor, the Barge has rules."

[Charles fights to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but there's still an undercurrent of it.] I suppose I should be grateful he bothered to reply to me at all.

[Although with that kind of answer and obvious lack of understanding, he's wondering if he'd have been better off just thinking the Admiral was ignoring him.]

Edited 2012-06-13 22:41 (UTC)

[Merlin just stares at the magnet for a few moments. As much as he'd like to be able to see it from the Admiral's perspective, he doesn't know what he'd do if he was without his magic for longer than a few days at port. He doesn't know what he'd do if Morgana didn't have a Warden who understood magic so well.]

I'm sorry.

[Charles closes his hand around the magnet and tucks it back in his pocket, expression and posture composed as he shrugs again, staring at the space over the deck railing.]

He'll realize his mistake, or he won't. Or maybe we'll get lucky and Erik's next warden will actually understand why this has to happen.

[Or maybe he wouldn't, and Charles would have to watch as Erik slipped further and further out of reach, knowing there wasn't anything he could do about it besides be there with him and hope he was enough to stop him from going too far.]

What if he gets his abilities back and uses them to hurt someone? [Quickly:] I'm not saying I think he will, I don't know him well enough to think anything. I just...honestly, I don't know what I would do.

[It's not something he's had to seriously address in his own Inmates - Ethan's sorcery had been limited by the nature of the Barge itself, Cara's powers he restored entirely because they were solely defensive, and Reaver's are useless without a weapon to channel them through.]

Edited 2012-06-13 23:15 (UTC)

Erik wouldn't hurt someone unless he had good reason to. [He really does believe that, no matter how badly things had fallen apart. And while admittedly, Erik's definition of 'good reason' might be wildly different from his own, it would at least be more logical than stabbing people to death in a hallway because he could. It wasn't like Blake had his ability to wield a weapon taken away from him after that.]

If he did, I'd make sure his warden understands what happened before jumping to conclusions, and I still don't think I'd advocate removing his abilities. He's getting worse without them, and it's just proving that he can't trust humans to understand and accept us as equals.

[He nods. Maybe this is one of the bigger differences between himself and Charles. As much as he knows that stripping someone of their powers is like taking a limb or a sense or both, more than it's simply confiscating a weapon, he doesn't know that he could stand up and loudly advocate that to a crowd of people who - through no fault of their own, but by their very nature - won't understand. Slowly chipping away at Arthur alone has been exhausting, even though it seems to be working.]

He might get a Warden who already understands. Morgana was given a Warden with magic, wasn't she?

She was. [And he'd wondered then if it was a good idea to give her her full abilities back. And now he sort of hated himself for it.]

I suppose there's always hope. [Except it was starting to feel like there wasn't, and he really wanted to go home.]

There is. [Said with the quiet conviction of someone who is never, ever going to stop believing it. Sometimes - increasingly often, on the Barge - it's the only thing that keeps him going.]

EIGHTEEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

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