wedonot | EIGHTEEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

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EIGHTEEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

[Private to the Admiral]

I'm still waiting on an answer. [He'll send daily messages until he gets a response. :|]

[Spam for the Deck]

[It wasn't really unusual for Charles to feel some level of isolation from other people, humans and mutants alike, especially recently - had Cuba really already been nearly seven months ago? - and it had really only gotten worse since he'd arrived on the Barge.

And honestly, he didn't really mind. The isolation came more from a place of what people expected from him than because he was different or whatever else. He was supposed to be the mature one, the person with all the answers, who couldn't be vulnerable because everyone else needed a rock to lean on when their worlds were spiraling out of control. And he was happy to be that person for whoever needed it.

But it made days like today difficult, because he wanted someone to talk to about all of this, and while months ago he would have approached Erik without hesitation, he felt like he couldn't be honest with him anymore, even besides the fact that a large part of what was weighing on Charles had to do with him.

So he'd decided he couldn't take just sitting around in his room anymore and headed up to the deck. Months ago, he might have gone for a run, but that obviously wasn't an option anymore, and so he just stopped a few feet away from the deck railing, watching their progress through space. After a few minutes, he slowly started relaxing his telepathic control, not enough to be noticeable by most people, probably. Just enough to make sure no one could sneak up on him and take some of the tension off. Keeping himself fully pulled back was almost like keeping a muscle tensed indefinitely, and he needed the reprieve, however slight it actually was.]

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I'm ever so sorry. Did you ask a question?

[It takes every bit of effort not to grit his teeth and let his frustration seep into his voice.]

Give Erik his powers back. Please.

That decision will be the responsibility of his Warden.

With all due respect, you're making a mistake. The longer you keep his abilities away from him, the more damage you're doing, and if you're actually interested in helping people, you'll understand why this needs to happen.

With all due respect, Professor, the Barge has rules.

[You also get a perfectly functional magnet with a >:C face drawn on it and that's all he's saying. Sorry, Charles.]

[Ahahahaha fuck this place, how bad would it be to just grab Erik and throw themselves over the side. :|]

[Merlin's not up to much of anything when he reaches the deck. It's been a few days of hard research since he spoke to Claudia about Willow, and - even at home, returning a soul to something soulless would be a tremendous undertaking. Doing it on the Barge, a place whose motto could be You Can Try But It Probably Won't Work Or Stay Worked, just fills him with anxiousness. The 'best' thing he might do is accidentally kill her, and it sickens him to think that the Barge has made that the best case scenario, but - at least she'll survive it ultimately.

The worst case scenario is...well. His mind drifts back to the previous October. Who knows what the worst case scenario is.

Generally speaking he's just a ball of tightly wound nervous energy, and he's not paying attention to very much around him. His mood brightens a little when he sees Charles and then dims slightly again when he remembers what he's going through as regards his friend.]

[Charles noticed the familiar presence approaching long before Merlin had actually gotten on deck. He still wasn't going much deeper than surface level, telepathically, (he'd more or less learned by now to ask permission first) but he still picks up on his friend's general cloud of troubling thoughts.

So he glances over when it's more or less alright to admit he'd noticed him, but still doesn't entirely pull away from the gentle mental contact.]

Merlin. It's good to see you.

[He smiles, closing the distance between them.] You too, Charles. How...how are you?

I'm alright. [It's a lie, and he knows it, but it sounds believable enough, so he doesn't linger on it.] And yourself?

[Merlin's not at all convinced by that. He almost returns an equally obvious lie, but then just shrugs and sits down on a bench.]

I don't know.

[It's something else to focus on, and Charles hangs on to it unapologetically.]

What's the matter?

[They always end up talking about him, and Merlin's not entirely comfortable about that, because he's overly used to being the Charles in this sort of conversation. He shrugs a bit helplessly.]

You know. Everything. [He smiles humourlessly.] A friend left.

[One of his best friends, even. How had that even happened.]

[Charles liked being the Charles in this sort of conversation. It was comfortable, and what he was good at, so he wasn't looking to change it up right now.]

I'm sorry. Who was it?

Valmont. He's - it's good that he's gone. He graduated, he deserves it. I'll just miss him.

I suppose you could visit sometime, if you wanted. Wherever he decides to go after leaving here.

Yeah.

[He hooks his elbows over the backrest of the bench, looking up into the 'sky' over their heads for a few moments. Then he glances over.]

How are you actually, Charles?

[He glances over at Merlin for a moment before looking away again and shrugging a little. Casually.]

I'm fine. [But there was a magnet with a frowny face on it in his pocket that said otherwise, and he supposed Merlin deserved a slightly more honest answer. Even if he really didn't want to admit just how angry and frustrated he was.] A bit peeved with the Admiral, if I'm really being honest, but it doesn't do to dwell, I suppose.

[Merlin frowns and sits up, folding his hands in his lap.]

He hasn't answered you?

[Kind of what he expects.]

[He reaches into his pocket for the magnet, holding it out for Merlin to see.]

"That decision will be the responsibility of his Warden," because "with all due respect, Professor, the Barge has rules."

[Charles fights to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but there's still an undercurrent of it.] I suppose I should be grateful he bothered to reply to me at all.

[Although with that kind of answer and obvious lack of understanding, he's wondering if he'd have been better off just thinking the Admiral was ignoring him.]

Edited 2012-06-13 22:41 (UTC)

[Merlin just stares at the magnet for a few moments. As much as he'd like to be able to see it from the Admiral's perspective, he doesn't know what he'd do if he was without his magic for longer than a few days at port. He doesn't know what he'd do if Morgana didn't have a Warden who understood magic so well.]

I'm sorry.

[Charles closes his hand around the magnet and tucks it back in his pocket, expression and posture composed as he shrugs again, staring at the space over the deck railing.]

He'll realize his mistake, or he won't. Or maybe we'll get lucky and Erik's next warden will actually understand why this has to happen.

[Or maybe he wouldn't, and Charles would have to watch as Erik slipped further and further out of reach, knowing there wasn't anything he could do about it besides be there with him and hope he was enough to stop him from going too far.]

What if he gets his abilities back and uses them to hurt someone? [Quickly:] I'm not saying I think he will, I don't know him well enough to think anything. I just...honestly, I don't know what I would do.

[It's not something he's had to seriously address in his own Inmates - Ethan's sorcery had been limited by the nature of the Barge itself, Cara's powers he restored entirely because they were solely defensive, and Reaver's are useless without a weapon to channel them through.]

Edited 2012-06-13 23:15 (UTC)

Erik wouldn't hurt someone unless he had good reason to. [He really does believe that, no matter how badly things had fallen apart. And while admittedly, Erik's definition of 'good reason' might be wildly different from his own, it would at least be more logical than stabbing people to death in a hallway because he could. It wasn't like Blake had his ability to wield a weapon taken away from him after that.]

If he did, I'd make sure his warden understands what happened before jumping to conclusions, and I still don't think I'd advocate removing his abilities. He's getting worse without them, and it's just proving that he can't trust humans to understand and accept us as equals.

[He nods. Maybe this is one of the bigger differences between himself and Charles. As much as he knows that stripping someone of their powers is like taking a limb or a sense or both, more than it's simply confiscating a weapon, he doesn't know that he could stand up and loudly advocate that to a crowd of people who - through no fault of their own, but by their very nature - won't understand. Slowly chipping away at Arthur alone has been exhausting, even though it seems to be working.]

He might get a Warden who already understands. Morgana was given a Warden with magic, wasn't she?

She was. [And he'd wondered then if it was a good idea to give her her full abilities back. And now he sort of hated himself for it.]

I suppose there's always hope. [Except it was starting to feel like there wasn't, and he really wanted to go home.]

There is. [Said with the quiet conviction of someone who is never, ever going to stop believing it. Sometimes - increasingly often, on the Barge - it's the only thing that keeps him going.]

[Arthur has no real reason to be up there, besides maybe morbid curiosity that he won't ever admit to with how they are able to breathe being this close to the stars, and a mixture of needing a distraction from The Morgana issue. It doesn't take him long to spot Charles up there, and that's also a suitable distraction.]

"Hello Charles."

[Arthur's mind is familiar and Charles recognizes who it is before he actually gets up on deck, but pulls back from the contact pretty immediately. He knew it made him uncomfortable, and he didn't want to do it intentionally.]

"Hello, Arthur." [He manages a smile and more or less looks normal. Maybe a little contemplative, at worst.] "What brings you up to the deck?"

[Arthur gives a rolling shrug and that's... kind of his entire answer to that. He isn't really used to explaining where he wanders to, except to maybe his father and that's a hard habit to break.]

"How have you been?"

[He considers just answering that he's fine. It's only sort of a lie. Things could certainly be worse, anyway.

But he settles for being a little vague, if more honest.] "I spoke with the Admiral about giving Erik his powers back."

[Arthur lifted a surprised eyebrow immediately.] "Why?"

[There were so many reasons, but he didn't really want to get into most of them.]

"Because it isn't right that he's been without them for this long, and keeping them from him isn't helping at all."

"Did you ever think that they might be part of the reason he's here?"

"They aren't." [And he's never believed anything more than that, and it shows.] "Erik knows how to control himself. His being here has nothing to do with what he's capable of."

[... As long as they were still talking about his powers, anyway. There were issues with what he was capable of that went a little beyond just being a mutant.]

"I don't think it's about his control. I wouldn't give a prisoner a sword. And he is here, as a prisoner for a reason."

"It isn't the same thing." [He'd known Arthur wouldn't really understand, but he was still going to try.] "Our powers aren't a weapon, they're a part of us. Being without them is like being without something as vital as sight or hearing."

[And he really hates discussing it like this, but there's no real better way to explain it.] "The first time I was without my telepathy, it was like reliving the moment I realized I couldn't feel my legs. I know how terrible that is, and I can't sit by while my friend has to wake up every morning feeling like he's missing part of himself. It's not something you get over or accept. You'll always remember what it felt like before, and I can't sit idly by any longer."

[Honestly, he could hear himself talking and he knew he wasn't just discussing powers anymore, but he didn't care. He subconsciously needed to explain it to someone, however indirectly.]

Edited 2012-06-13 04:03 (UTC)

[No, Arthur would never really understand it. He might grow sympathy and compassion and understanding for people with magic and abnormal abilities but it was likely that he'd never have true empathy for it.]

"What are you going to do?"

[Charles let out a slightly bitter, half laugh, looking back out at space.]

"The Admiral said it was his warden's decision, not mine."

"Speak with his Warden?"

"He doesn't have one right now, and who knows when he'll be assigned to one again. Or if they'll actually understand why this is so important."

[He shook his head.] "It doesn't matter. I'm going to keep trying to reason with him until he understands. If he actually wants people here to get better, he'll hopefully see reason sooner rather than later."

[Hopefully. He was getting less optimistic.]

"I wish you luck, Charles. The Admiral seems to have his own set of rules." [And it kind of reminded Arthur of talking with his father. Sometimes he listened and other times, you'd have better luck talking to a wall.]

"It's too bad he doesn't feel the need to share them with the rest of us." [And the magnet had really been. Unnecessary. :|]

"In any case, enough about me. How have you been?"

[Arthur shrugs again.] "Fine. Impatient to get another Inmate."

[Often on the deck, this one is. He likes to watch the stars. You don't get vistas like this in the city where he's from, after all - the city lights drown them out.

He's a telepath as well, anyhow, and even with his powers suppressed by the Barge he can sort of feel Charles letting himself relax a bit.

He waffles back and forth over whether or not to respond at all. He'd conceal himself usually. But he's so bored here and even more lonely (not that he'd admit it) than he was at home, in a sense - no Mr. H to talk to, no city to watch over and keep busy with. So that much pushes him to speak up, so to speak.]

Letting your hair down, hm?

[Charles isn't exactly in the mood to 'talk', but once contact was made, he didn't pull away entirely, his curiosity overcoming his bad mood, for a moment.

He's making contact, but not opening himself up more than that, keeping his own thoughts and feelings tightly locked away because he really doesn't need a stranger rooting around in his mind. So he just answers back simply:]

I suppose you could say that.

[He's just as low-key and controlled. Experienced, clearly: he appreciates Charles not prying enough that he'll do the same favor in return.]

Hmm. Tough to find places to relax around here!

[It's a good kind of understanding, way better than all these non telepaths being like WTF GET OUT OF MY HEAD right? Right.

Charles 'sounds' a little wry when he replies.] It is technically a prison.

[ooc: I am a total dick and missed this tag until I saw you link it on the AC, we can totally continue or assume if you want to. <3]

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EIGHTEEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

Private

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spammmm

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i guess you are being spammed by the merlin bros :c

you say that like it's a bad thing

just come back to camelot bro :c

can erik come too :c

i guess :c

okay let's go. right now.

okay c:

ERIK PACK UP YOUR STUFF, WE'RE BLOWING THIS JOINT

this really makes you sound like a married couple

idec anymore, I want to go home

:c

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telepathy;

telepathy;

telepathy;

telepathy;