![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
SIXTY TWO ✖ VIDEO
[He's almost not sure if he wants to put himself out there considering the last time this happened, he was pretty much miserable afterwards, but as much as that's true, he's in a much better place this time around, and he does really miss quite a few people from back home.
And you know, always good to make sure Hank and Darwin haven't let Sean destroy the house by accident in their absence.]
This is Dr. Charles Xavier. If there's anyone out there from home- [You know who you are.] I'd appreciate hearing from you.
[Private to Zane]
[Someone's been keeping an eye on Kelsier's post, and he's definitely noticed that things seem to be getting sort of out of control. He's concerned, and decides to shoot Zane a message.]
Where are you?
And you know, always good to make sure Hank and Darwin haven't let Sean destroy the house by accident in their absence.]
This is Dr. Charles Xavier. If there's anyone out there from home- [You know who you are.] I'd appreciate hearing from you.
[Private to Zane]
[Someone's been keeping an eye on Kelsier's post, and he's definitely noticed that things seem to be getting sort of out of control. He's concerned, and decides to shoot Zane a message.]
Where are you?
[Spam]
[Spam]
[ He's crafted schemes that take months, years to play out fully. He's capable of subtlety, and capable of planning for long periods of time, and he knows he doesn't easily change. ]
Today still wasn't a good day.
I don't know how to feel about my father.
[Spam]
What's bothering you about it, specifically?
[Spam]
A man who, by all counts, deserved to die. Invited his own death. And I feel... lacking, without him.
Why?
[Spam]
[Spam]
[ They matter because that was how Zane learned to think - by outthinking Straff. ]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
That, and also Zane's experience is just so fundamentally different from his, he's not sure his experience is necessarily going to be useful.
So he leads with a question, curious and gentle, clearly not accusatory.]
Why did you love him?
[Spam]
[ And he was all Zane had.
He can hear that there are a lot of things Charles isn't saying. He's insightful. He can't turn that part of him off.
If he were going to prey on his warden, fathers might be where he starts. He looks up to Charles' face, and thinks, for a telepath? No. Friends. He'd start with friends.
He would, in fact, have done exactly what he did. Become vulnerable. Let the other into his mind, but only the parts he chose. He would have controlled his own thoughts, and made it look like he was someone that could be saved. Joke's on him, because it turns out that he can be saved. He can feel it happening, a little bit every day.
Zane covers his eyes with his palms and cries silent, empty tears. ]
[Spam]
Things are different now, though, and so after a moment's pause, he reaches out and carefully puts an arm around Zane's shoulders.]
It's alright.
[Spam]
It's hard knowing what to do next, but it's worse doing it. He's letting himself be afraid and sad and lonely, like a child, because only in letting can he have any real comfort.
He shifts and lets his head rest against Charles' shoulder. ]
[Spam]
He doesn't try to tell him that everything's going to be alright, or pet his hair or rub his back, like he might do if he was Raven or Morgana, but he hugs him and lets him cry, and judgement's the farthest thing from his mind.]
[Spam]
I feel weak.
[Spam]
But there's really one thing that had helped him when he was feeling at his absolute lowest, and that's the one he ends up repeating to him.]
Sometimes we break, and then we pick ourselves back up. You'll get through this, Zane, and it's alright to have moments where it feels like things are getting too difficult to deal with.
[Spam]
Powerful men, men who do what's necessary - my father never felt. Nothing but fear or anger or lust.
[Spam]
[Spam]
What do you mean by less? How does it make them less?
[Spam]
[Spam]
I thought he loved me. For a long time, that's what I thought. That he loved me because I had the power he wanted.
[Spam]
[Spam]
[ This was hard for Zane to admit, and he repeats it out loud, often, to try and remind himself that it's true. ]
He could've controlled me better with a kind word than with all of his threats. That was stupid.
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]
[Spam]