wedonot | SIXTY TWO ✖ VIDEO

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SIXTY TWO ✖ VIDEO

[He's almost not sure if he wants to put himself out there considering the last time this happened, he was pretty much miserable afterwards, but as much as that's true, he's in a much better place this time around, and he does really miss quite a few people from back home.

And you know, always good to make sure Hank and Darwin haven't let Sean destroy the house by accident in their absence.]

This is Dr. Charles Xavier. If there's anyone out there from home- [You know who you are.] I'd appreciate hearing from you.

[Private to Zane]

[Someone's been keeping an eye on Kelsier's post, and he's definitely noticed that things seem to be getting sort of out of control. He's concerned, and decides to shoot Zane a message.]

Where are you?

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[ The accepting of it is still odd for him. The needing of it, more familiar, but odd to acknowledge that it's there, that this is what that feeling is.

It's hard knowing what to do next, but it's worse doing it. He's letting himself be afraid and sad and lonely, like a child, because only in letting can he have any real comfort.

He shifts and lets his head rest against Charles' shoulder. ]

[Charles tightens his arm around Zane a little when he shifts, making it more of a hug and less of a supportive hand on his shoulder, but otherwise stays quiet and calm, not really sure what to say or how to fix this. But if Zane needs to cry - and it doesn't take a telepath to know that he does desperately need comfort and reassurance - Charles isn't going anywhere, and isn't about to suggest that he stop.

He doesn't try to tell him that everything's going to be alright, or pet his hair or rub his back, like he might do if he was Raven or Morgana, but he hugs him and lets him cry, and judgement's the farthest thing from his mind.]

[ It isn't long before he pulls away, again. Restless, like a wild animal, like a bird only tentatively resting on an outstretched hand. ]

I feel weak.

[Charles knows what that feels like - to be confused and upset and drawn out and angry with yourself for being weak - and there's any amount of advice he can throw back at Zane that had helped him in the past, when he'd been feeling down. Rise up and walk, for none of your bones is broken. Illegitimi non carborundum.

But there's really one thing that had helped him when he was feeling at his absolute lowest, and that's the one he ends up repeating to him.]

Sometimes we break, and then we pick ourselves back up. You'll get through this, Zane, and it's alright to have moments where it feels like things are getting too difficult to deal with.

Weak because I feel at all.

Powerful men, men who do what's necessary - my father never felt. Nothing but fear or anger or lust.

That doesn't make them better than you, Zane. That makes them less.

You say that like it's simple.

What do you mean by less? How does it make them less?

Because they're missing out on the best experiences in life. They never get to know what it's like to love, or be genuinely happy, or truly learn from their mistakes, and that doesn't make them better. Life isn't worth living if you don't let yourself experience that.

[ A long silence, now. ]

I thought he loved me. For a long time, that's what I thought. That he loved me because I had the power he wanted.

Maybe in his own way, he did. But that's not really genuine, to only care about someone based on what they can or can't do.

He didn't. He was just afraid.

[ This was hard for Zane to admit, and he repeats it out loud, often, to try and remind himself that it's true. ]

He could've controlled me better with a kind word than with all of his threats. That was stupid.

It's the mistake men like him make, because they don't understand what it is to actually reach out to someone.

That connecting isn't just a weakness.

Exactly.

But trying to connect is nothing but weakness.

I don't think it is.

It's... calculated weakness. Knowing weakness. But it's still weakness, even if sometimes it leads to something else.

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SIXTY TWO ✖ VIDEO

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