wedonot | FORTY TWO ✖ TEXT/SPAM

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FORTY TWO ✖ TEXT/SPAM

[Private to the Admiral]

I understand you've had a bit of a history of giving me not quite the thing I asked for in the past, but as these are gifts for others, I would appreciate it if you took the requests seriously. Thanks.

For Erik - A decent, hardcover edition of Moby Dick, and something less heinous than that sweater you gave him. [Feel free to interpret this as a pair of shark socks, Ari.]
For Jean and Morgana - Some chamomile tea, and something lavender scented to help her sleep. Also something from the mansion Jeans's been missing, and maybe some modern clothes for Morgana that she'd like and feel comfortable wearing, in case we ever wind up in a port where we're expected to fit in with the local population.
For Tony - His most recent Iron Man suit, with a note attached saying "Please use responsibly."
For Merlin - One of the flight suits Hank made for us.
For Arthur - A book of world history since his point in the timestream. Maybe one specifically focusing on the Second World War, too.
For Steve - Something from back home he's been missing.
For Anya - Some books about Oxford with a lot of pictures of the buildings, considering I couldn't do them justice with a verbal description when we spoke.
For Ivy - Some new botany books, maybe from some of the other worlds we've visited.
For Sara - Something she'll find useful for when she's assigned her next inmate.
For Barbara - Some books giving advice on how to teach someone to read.
For Wanda - Some new spell books that cover something she'd like to know more about, but hasn't had a chance to study yet.
For Arkady - Some new drink recipe books for inspiration, and get something for her chickens as well.
For Pepper - A stress ball. And a spare arc reactor, just in case.

[Spam for Erik, backdated to shortly after his talk with Anya]

[It wouldn't exactly be accurate to say that Charles immediately headed for Erik's room after talking with Anya. It wasn't like he'd sprinted there, or anything. But there was really no denying that there was a lot he needed to tell him about, even if some of it he wasn't actually really sure if he wanted to tell him

Still, he still pretty firmly believed some of this was probably best to hear from him, rather than Anya or Lua or whoever else got their hands on the information, so he didn't really beat around the bush once Erik had let him into his room.]

I spoke with Anya.

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[It caught his attention immediately - not that he hadn't suspected something might be up, given Charles' general attitude. But his brow creased, and he turned toward the chairs and took a seat slowly, propping his jaw up on his fist.]

About?

[Charles actually had to stop and think for a moment, because there was a lot, and he wasn't sure where to begin, and he did sort of have a history of getting ahead of himself when he was excited about something, even though this wasn't really something to be excited about. At all.

He took a deep breath and slowly headed over to sit down across from him, even though there was a part of him that was saying pacing might be more productive.]

A lot of things. I thought some of it might be better coming from me and not her warden. [Although this was probably something to establish first anyway, come to think of it.] What did you talk about?

[He shrugged lightly, shaking his head.] We said our hellos, I told her about Wanda and she said she needed time to herself. [And then the flood, but. He's going to leave that out. It's probably not fair to count that.]

[It was more or less what he expected. Anya wouldn't have said he could tell Erik if he wanted if Erik already knew, but that doesn't make this any easier to say. His jaw felt tight, and it took him a moment to force himself to start speaking at all, because he was angry, and he knew Erik would be, too.]

I still don't know why she's here, but she told me that when she was four, a mob of townspeople tried to burn her alive because they found out what her father could do. Obviously he was able to get her out in time, but she has some pretty nasty reminders of what happened. [His voice was calm, but there's an edge to it that makes it clear how disgusted he is, that he's actively trying to keep himself calm.]

[With his powers in tact and his control in place, things don't generally rattle around Erik anymore unless he wants them too. So that things tip over on the desk five feet away says something.

He stands, unable - unwilling - to sit and think it through. He thinks of Anya - not the young woman here, but the little girl who had called him Daddy on Sanitarium Island. Maybe he'd been a monster there - he had been - but he'd been a monster with a family. He'd had Magda, and Anya, and the memories had largely faded around the edges, but he remembered how it felt.

He would have slaughtered an entire village for that little girl.]

And? [Was there retribution, did she hate her father for doing nothing, what?]

[Charles didn't get up, or move to comfort him or take away the emotion at all. He needs to work through it in his own way, and pacing and knocking a few things over isn't the worst reaction to have. Frankly, it's entirely understandable, and he won't intervene until it looks like he really has to.]

I don't know. [She hadn't said, but honestly, this might be a different man, but Charles could make some assumptions about how he would have reacted to it. And slaughtering an entire village doesn't really seem far off.]

She, understandably, has a fairly poor outlook on the character of people since then. [And he hesitates before continuing.] She said her father never laid a finger on her in anger and protected her, but he made her want to die. She didn't explain what she meant.

[He fought the urge to sit back down at that, instead stopping behind his empty chair and settling his hands on its back. Made her want to die - it's an unbearably familiar thought, and he can taste it like bile in the back of his throat.

Shaw had made him want to die, many times.

Swallowing, he pushed it back, and met Charles' eyes again.]

Did she say anything else?

[He's not sure he wants to continue, because there's a selfish part of him that just wants to shield his friend from all of this and focus on better things, but at the same time, he knows how much trouble that's gotten him into in the past and Erik definitely isn't Raven, so he doesn't.]

That her Magneto is a tyrant who rules through fear and intimidation. Mutants are still largely unknown, and he believes in mutant superiority rather than wiping out humanity entirely. [So he has that over Shaw, at least.] Shaw works for him, and Anya seemed surprised when I told her about our world's Shaw. I don't think they have much in common.

[And, selfishly, the part that bothers him the most:]

We don't know each other.

[It's a lot to process, and he starts to pace again, slowly, parsing it all out. Shaw incites a brief fury before he forces it away; it's not the same Shaw, very well, it won't matter then. (There is some perverse satisfaction, however, in knowing that Shaw is not in charge.)

And it doesn't sound so unfamiliar, in some ways - they are the superior race, they are the homo sapiens creeping up on the unsuspecting neanderthals. It's evolution, and time will satisfy it.

But he doesn't want to rule his friends, his family. He doesn't want to rule. He's only ever wanted to do what's right.

It's the last part that makes him sit down, finally, hands clasped between his knees.]

That's a first.

[Charles lets him process, picking up on the edges of thoughts, but doesn't say anything or contribute until Erik sits down again.]

I don't think I like the sound of it much, to be terribly honest.

[For a number of reasons. Erik had become such an integral part of his life that it was almost hard to imagine there had been a time before they'd known each other, and if he didn't exist - or if they'd just never met, if he'd died, or never been born - who was going to be there to stubbornly try to save him from himself? He didn't like what he'd heard about his other counterparts, but at least that had held true, for the most part.]

No. I was starting to think it was something of a universal constant. [That they would always find each other, they they would always - accomplish great things, or be great enemies. But to be nothing to each other? It was almost absurd.

He makes himself smile, and it isn't pleasant.]

I wonder if that has to do with what he's like.

[Charles chuckles, and it's not really a pleasant thing, either. It's more sad than anything else, really, because, well. Further proof that they just understood each other in a way most people never experienced with a friend.]

I was wondering the same thing.

[He lowers his head to his hands, rubbing at his eyes.]

Has it ever occurred to you that we are the best scenario, out of all these parallel universes?

Yes. [It's depressing, to think that in the best of all possible universes, they still parted ways after Erik accidentally crippled him.

But, at the same time, they're here. They're still friends, they reconciled somewhere along the way, they can still joke and play chess and be there for each other when they need it, or even when they don't, and he knows it's stupid to get his hopes up, that things might actually change, but. If Erik graduated, they could leave together and accomplish great things. This could be the best of all possible scenarios, with no strings attached, with no caveats about if things were different.]

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

[That startles a dry chuckle out of him, and Erik arches his eyebrows at Charles before leaning back in his chair and crossing one ankle over his knee.]

No? I'd almost rather think there's still some version of us out there who could do better.

But maybe we are them, [He insists, expression earnest and not quite desperate.]

We have an extraordinary opportunity here, Erik. We know so much about what might happen in our future, which is a chance I sincerely doubt any of our counterparts had themselves. We can still change things for the better. Even if we went home today, we still have a better shot at improving our future than we did when we first got here. We do have it in us to be the better men compared to those we've heard about from everyone else, and maybe we already are.

[It was probably trite, to throw what they'd said before Cuba back at him, but he did believe it. They could make a difference, even if it was just because Charles knew to keep an eye out for any projects like the Sentinels, and they both knew to keep an eye on Jean in case she lost her mind, or to look out for kids like Wanda and Anya instead of abandoning them.]

[Erik snorted, shaking his head - but there was no real resentment, not even real disagreement.]

We are better than them, [he said dryly, remembering that conversation. They were the better men, in so many ways. And they could do better, though Erik still thinks he never could have done what his counterparts did.

But he hates this place, still, even with the opportunities - which they do have, he can recognize what this ship has done for them. But he can't be fully grateful.]

[Charles caught the thought and snorted, shaking his head.] No one's going to expect you to be, least of all me. I hate it here, too.

[Even if it had given them another chance to change things, and a chance to reconcile, something he knows would have taken nothing short of a miracle back home. But that didn't change that they had been tortured and hurt here, and probably would be again in the future.]

I know, [he grunts, but he doesn't bother suggesting that Charles could leave; they've been over this. It's nice to have some understanding between them, again. He moves to the window, crossing his arms and looking out into the black, eyes finding stars and trying to decide if he recognizes them.]

You know, [he starts slowly,] maybe I would like to find Magda again. One day. [Maybe it will be a waste of time; maybe it won't be. Hard to decide, while you're kept prisoner light years away.]

[That's a surprise, although not really a bad one. It's hard not to hear that and have some hope that maybe things will work out all right, that if Erik can still think fondly about a human girl he left because he thought she would think he was a monster, maybe he'll start loosening his grip on his conviction about humanity's flaws.

So he smiles, almost reassured, even though there's a worried part of him that doesn't want him to get too excited about it.]

Well, if you want help tracking her down, I'd be more than happy to help. [He'd definitely like to meet her, regardless. :c]

[Erik nods, tapping his fingers lightly against his upper arm in silence for a moment. Just before it risks stretching out too long, though, he turns and offers Charles a wry smile.]

But no kids. Ever. [Ever. He'd very much been soured on that idea, if it had ever existed in his mind.]

[Charles can't help but laugh a little at that, even though it's really not exactly funny at all.]

I can't say I blame you at all for deciding that. But for what it's worth, [And maybe he was a little biased, but hey, we've got some decent concrete proof about how you've handled having Jean around and how pissed you've been about the mistreatment Wanda and Anya have lived through.] I think you'd be a good dad.

Maybe. [Jean was easy to handle; she gave him a chance. Wanda and Anya, well. It was one thing, to be angry on their behalf, to know that he would hurt, maybe even kill these other versions of himself for what they did to those girls - but that doesn't mean he's remotely capable of pathing things up with them.]

All the same - maybe it's best not to take the risk.

[Maybe, but that didn't stop Charles from being confident that if something happened, Erik would find a way to make it work. And, well. He could do worse, in terms of support system.]

And I suppose we've already got a few kids to look after anyway, with the potential for quite a few more, in the future.

[Erik groaned quietly at that, chin dropping to his chest.]

I'd love to know the exact moment you became a den mother.

It's partially your fault, I wanted to send everyone home after Shaw attacked the base.

[Not that he was complaining. If they had gone home, it was likely that the two of them and Moira couldn't have taken on Shaw and his followers by themselves, and that meant nothing good.]

I wanted them to fight with us, not become our children. [Yeah they'd be pretty fucking dead if those kids hadn't stuck around. B(]

[Charles laughed, raising an eyebrow slightly at that.] Our children? You're making it sound as if we're married.

Please. [He's raising both eyebrows, so there.] They're practically our children.

[This is not a competition, brusband. B(] You're absolutely right, but my point still stands.

[Hush of course it is]

I was thinking more like single fathers who happen to be raising the same children.

I suppose at least that way, I'm not the mother. Or the wife.

You would be a truly terrible wife. [But lbr, you're already the mom. 8|]

Well, thank God we're not actually married, then. [He knows, he loves it. B(]

Agreed. You still coddle them.

Which is part of why we make a good team.

A very small part.

[Still a part, though. And going back to the matter at hand for a moment:] Are you going to be alright?

[Yeah, yeah. Erik nods quietly, a small smile still on his face.] I always find a way to be.

I know. [And it's probably hard not to hear something like pride or admiration in his voice.] I also know that if you need anyone to talk to, you know where I live.

Did you use your mutation to learn that? [It's teasing, and there's a little smile; yes, Charles, he knows, and as ever, he appreciates it.

Yes. [He's grinning a little more evidently, because how quickly you forget, buddy.] If you hadn't taken the helmet off, it might have been a few hours before I realized you were here.

Then thank God you've got telepathy, to enhance your powers of observation.

I was a bit distracted by things like how by all accounts, we should die a horrible death every time we walk out on deck because it looks an awful lot like open space.

Thank goodness nothing makes a lick of sense around here.

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FORTY TWO ✖ TEXT/SPAM

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