wedonot | TWENTY SIX ✖ SPAM/TELEPATHY

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TWENTY SIX ✖ SPAM/TELEPATHY

[(Telepathy) Spam for Jean and Morgana]

[It was frustrating, to lie awake at night and not be able to get to sleep. Actual insomnia and not I really need to finish this paper and therefore can't get to sleep at regular hours lack of sleep was almost a foreign concept to Charles, because while it was true that it wasn't like he'd never had nightmares before, these were worse, more frequent, and couldn't be brushed off as a figment of his imagination, or a memory he'd absorbed from someone else. They'd actually happened, to him, and when he did finally get to sleep, it often wasn't for very long.

Tonight, sleep was being especially evasive, so he read, and tried to find ways to occupy himself and hopefully wear himself down enough that he'd eventually have to go to sleep. But his eyes had started feeling gritty and sore, and the words had started to blur together, so he'd finally crawled into bed, and... couldn't fall asleep.

It was late. Very late, and he couldn't let his mind wander without it starting to dive into territory he really didn't want to confront anymore than he already had, so, as he did every few nights since port had ended, he carefully extended his telepathy to check on people.

He couldn't sense Erik at all, which was to be expected, even though his friend was likely lying awake next door trying to fend off nightmares himself. Charles wanted to help, but he knew Erik would be stubborn about accepting it, or just outright refuse, and he didn't want to fight with him right now. Merlin and Arthur were sleeping, which really made sense, as it was late, and he didn't linger too long in their dreams, enough to try and smooth them out a little instead of taking a turn for the worse. They'd never even realize he'd been there.

Which left Morgana and Jean for tonight, and he carefully reached out to them separately, hoping they were asleep and weren't dreaming.]

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[He didn't really want to outright lie to her, despite everything. It just seemed stupid, they were out here in the hallway when everyone else but the vampires were asleep to insist that he was fine. He wasn't. She wasn't, no one was.

But he had a hard time just accepting that. He was working on it, he wasn't going to let this beat him, so after a slight pause, he finally answered.]

I will be.

How do you know?

[ The whisper comes out before she can even think about it, and she stops pushing the wheelchair, leaning on the handles instead. ]

Sometimes-- [ Her voice is creaky, like it can be after sleep, after hours and hours of not speaking. ] I look at myself and I wonder if it really happened, or if it was just another nightmare, if all of this--

[ And there are tears, now, that she doesn't realize are coming. She thought she had herself under control, but she doesn't. ]

I don't even know if this is real. [ She lets go of his chair, hand wrapping around her forearm and holding it against her chest. ] Is this real?

[Well, that was upsetting, if maybe not entirely unexpected. They'd tortured him, but they'd hurt her. The worst injuries he'd gotten he'd done to himself by accident.

He wanted to turn to look at her, but couldn't, really, because of the chair and his legs, so he made do with what he could, and tried not to be too resentful of it.]

Yes. It's real. [He allowed himself the briefest of smiles.] I wouldn't be able to feel your mind like this, otherwise.

[In dreams, there was always something a little off about his telepathy, or he couldn't use it at all, or just never thought to. Being able to reach out and sense Morgana was grounding in a way it wouldn't have been if they were in a dream.]

Do you want to sit down, somewhere?

[ Her magic wasn't a constant thing, wasn't something she could feel when she wasn't using it, like his telepathy. She hadn't known her magic was gone until she'd tried to use it, same as it had been in Camelot (when it had been stolen from her, ripped away while she slept by the one person mean to destroy her, and he had, hadn't he, he'd done just that and sent her here where her nightmares were the waking sort).

She wet her lips and nodded, though she knew he probably couldn't quite see. ] Yes. [ Her voice was small, but she made herself lower her arm, and take up the handles of his chair again. ]

Would you mind the garden? [ She felt as if she hadn't been courteous in years, but it was still easy to fall back on it. ]

[He shook his head. The garden actually seemed like a pretty decent option, right now. People didn't spend much time there outside of waking hours, so it was unlikely they'd run into anyone else.]

Of course not.

[ Morgana nods - again, to herself - and heads for the elevator. She's silent, but it's not like Charles needs words to hear her; the question of whether or not this is real may be momentarily shelved, but there's no answer for why. Why did this happen to her, what did she do deserve this, how could this be good and right redemptive in any way?

She thinks of Elyan screaming, and tears prick at the corners of her eyes. She made herself a monster, because they called her one. But she wasn't a monster, not like them, not like the Vanquish. She'd needed something from Elyan, hadn't she? Hadn't she?

Pushing the chair along with one hand, she wiped at her eyes with the heel of her other. She had needed information from Elyan. The Vanquish had only wanted to see her in pain. That was the difference. There was a difference. ]

[Charles bit the inside of his cheek and forced himself not to say anything, drawing back from her mind more definitively because he didn't want to think about what she'd done to other people right now. Didn't want to talk about how there wasn't a difference, torture was torture and using those tactics made her not all that different from the people who'd held them.

He was exhausted, and the last thing he wanted was to get into an argument about it, to make her feel even worse about what had already happened, and maybe he'd live to regret it, later, because she'd have time to justify her behavior and pretend like she wasn't the same as them, like Erik had done with Shaw, and God, how was he ever supposed to have a serious argument with him again, after what had happened? He didn't want to be fighting the person who'd risked everything so he wouldn't have to be alone, even when he knew there was no hope of them both escaping.

He twisted his hands together in his lap and tried to think of something else, anything, to distract him from the desire to start lecturing. There would be time for that later, maybe Mozenrath would talk to her about it, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it now.]

[It was good of him to keep quiet; Morgana wouldn't have stood under a lecture, though lately it was hard to tell if she'd react with anger or anguish. Once the elevator doors closed, she turned him so that he could face the door, before leaning back against the wall with her head tilted back, staring at the light in the ceiling.

She could not keep this up. She was going mad, letting her thoughts chase each other.]

Tell me about the others like you, [she said softly. The other mutants; she wanted to hear about others who were different in their worlds.]

[That was an easy enough topic to latch onto, and it would hopefully be a distraction for both of them, which Morgana especially seemed desperately in need of.] Well, you know about Raven. And Erik. [Even if Morgana and Erik didn't cross paths much, it would be hard to miss the angry guy wearing a helmet Charles hung out with more often than he didn't.]

I have three students back home - Hank, Alex and Sean - and there are a few more I've spent more time around. I've met a few others, but they weren't interested in working with us at the time. Jean, Wanda and St. John are all from versions of my world, as well.

There are much, much more of us out there, but I haven't really had the chance to go out and contact too many others. Hank build a device that amplified my telepathy so I could find other mutants, but it was destroyed and he's still working on building a better one. [And he was looking forward to it, to be able to go out and help all those lonely minds he'd touched the first time he'd used the device.]

What do you want to know about them?

[When the elevator doors open while he talks, she pushes herself off the wall, and pushes him forward, out onto the deck. It's a good distraction - it's something she can focus on, instead of remembering.]

What can they do?

Raven can change her appearance to perfectly match anyone she wants to. She can even imitate their voice. Erik can manipulate metal - or, more accurately, I suppose, he can manipulate magnetic fields. He can even use them to fly. [Charles is super impressed, kind of proud and also insanely jealous because that seems so cool. :c And all of that is probably readily apparent in his voice.]

Hank has enhanced strength, speed, flexibility and reflexes, and his feet act more like extra hands than anything else. [He hesitates for a moment before continuing, but, well.] He had a bit of an accident shortly before I came here, and so now he's- [Not sure how to explain it, he sends her an image of what Hank looks like now, fuzzy and blue and still wearing glasses.] Anyway. Alex can release blasts of kinetic energy, Sean has a sonic scream he can control the pitch of to help him fly, if given the proper equipment to help him glide, Jean can move objects with her mind [He leaves out mentioning her telepathy, since she'd seemed to want to keep that quiet for now.] Wanda can... Wanda's powers are a bit hard to explain, but basically she can manipulate the probability of things happening. She's described it as chaos magic. And St. John can manipulate fire, as long as an external source has created it.

I've also met another telepath, who isn't as strong as me and can't do some of the same things I can, although she can also turn her body into a nearly invulnerable crystal form, which I obviously can't do, a young woman with dragonfly wings who can spit acid, a teleporter, a young man whose body could adapt to various external stimuli - he could form gills if he put his head under water, for example - a man who could form windstorms on command and another who could absorb and release vast amounts of energy, which also apparently kept him eternally young.

[She makes a sound that's almost a laugh as she listens, because it's amazing to listen to, to know that, while they aren't quite normal, there are enough of them, that they have each other to lean on. She pushes them into the gardens, and doesn't stop until she finds a bench halfway through the small domed building. She leaves Charles beside it, and sits beside him.]

They can do amazing things, [she murmurs, and looks up at him, tired and thoughtful.] You're proud of them. [Tired, thoughtful, and a little jealous. It isn't his pride she wants, really, not exactly. She wants that feeling of having a family, though. She misses it. Terribly.]

Yes. [There's no better way to put it, really. It had been amazing, to see the kids figure out how to use their powers, how not to be afraid of what they were capable anymore, watching Erik move a satellite dish miles away when he used to struggle with anything too heavy without getting angry first. If there had been any doubt in his mind that he wanted to teach before that week before Cuba, it was long gone by the time they arrived at the mansion and got to work.]

Before we all came together, most of them didn't even realize there were other people in the world like them, and many of them had very limited control. Now they're all much more confident in themselves and what they can do.

[And, God, had it really almost been ten months since he'd seen them last? Almost over a year since he'd seen Raven, and while there was a selfish part of himself that was glad Erik was here with him (he sincerely doubted ten months at home would have meant spending this much time with his friend, and while he often didn't want him to be here, because the Barge was awful and he didn't want him exposed to things like that last port, it was hard not to be grateful sometimes that he had someone to talk to, when he needed it) and not his students or his sister, well.]

I miss them.

I can imagine.

[Was there anyone left for her to miss? The people she used to consider family were severed from her; Morgause was dead. Even Helios - and, she supposed, Agravaine, he'd never come back - even they were gone. Agravaine, who had loved her and disappointed her again and again. Helios, who had wanted her, and given her the army she needed. They were allies, not friends. She wondered if she'd ever had real friends.

She makes herself smile, before her eyes betray her again.]

They sound wonderful. I wish I could meet them.

I'd say maybe you will, but I honestly don't want any of them coming here. [It was hard enough, for him and Erik, and while he knew they'd be capable of doing good things, here, there was a part of him that worried Raven would be judged for choosing to go with Erik, rather than stay with him, and while his students were certainly exceptional individuals, they really were still just kids. Hell, he already had a hard time with Jean being here.]

Maybe we could arrange a visit, sometime. [When you graduate. :c]

[She spared him a wan smile, and there was very little hope in the expression. As much as she would like t hat - and she thought she might - she doubted that the opportunity would present itself.]

The Admiral isn't going to let me leave.

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TWENTY SIX ✖ SPAM/TELEPATHY

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