wedonot | SIXTY ONE ✖ VOICE & SPAM

[Friends Filter]

[Charles sounds tired - and anyone who was in the infirmary right after port ended might have noticed him hovering while people tried to help Zane - but otherwise, actually pretty okay.]

I know we're all exhausted and in need of some relaxation, but if everyone wouldn't mind letting me know you got out alright, I'd appreciate it. And if there's anything I can do for any of you, don't hesitate to let me know.

[Spam for Erik]

[Getting his telepathy back felt like he'd been unblindfolded, and while he had noticed the change immediately, in the first minutes back on the Barge, he hadn't had time to appreciate it. The focus was instead on saving Zane's life, and it wasn't until he was stable and unconscious that Charles had the time to reach out with his gift and reassure himself that they were back, they had made it out, and so had the people he cared about.

He'd checked on the kids first, reassured himself that they were in one piece and mostly in need of rest before anything else, and reassured them that he just needed much of the same before looking for Erik.

It's not difficult. His mind had almost instinctively wrapped itself around the familiar presence as soon as it had been established that Zane would be alright, and so Charles catches up to his friend as Erik's coming down from the deck, a relieved smile immediately stretching across his face as he gets his first good look at him.]

This might be the ultimate instance of the pot calling the kettle black, [Because he knows he's got some cuts on his face and other minor injuries from their time in port, too.] but you look like you're about to fall over.

[ooc: Filter includes but is not limited to the immediate X-Fam, Zane, Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Anya, Pietro, Barbara, Tony, Kelsier, the Emperor, Ivy, and even you, Felix. Basically anyone Charles is friendly with or would have reason to check up with, idk I'm always bad with these filters and end up forgetting someone. /o\

Also, feel free to spam him if you want! He'll probably be pretty unconscious for the first day and a half afterward, but will be up and around after that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She doesn't understand the mechanism of it; the closest she's experienced is flashes of connection with Ben, even though in some ways their perspectives are worlds apart. But it makes sense to her as an answer, that they are simply part of a world together that she can't reach.]

Why do you use them with me?

[And this is - not an accusation. She's attempting to be straightforward, not cruel.]

[It still takes him a moment to decide how to respond, although he does look at her while he does it. That's... something.]

I don't mean to?

It feels like you're always - being nicer to me than I deserve. Just so I won't do something terrible. I'm not like that.

[Mostly.]

That's not what I'm trying to do, Anya. I'm not like that. [He's not completely above being manipulative, but it's on a way smaller scale. His intentions with this and the conversation they've been having have been entirely pure, in all honesty.]

You're important to people I consider family, and I just like helping people. That's all. I'm not... expecting anything from you in exchange.

I don't want help from someone who doesn't actually like me just because of magneto.

I've lived enough on grudging forbearance.

I don't not like you, we just don't see eye to eye on several things. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother asking how you're doing, or invite you over for something like this. [Because, you know, it would be a lot easier to just ignore her, even though they do live on the same floor.] I certainly don't side with your father, or have any particular affection for him.

[And seriously if you think he does, there has been an enormous misunderstanding here.]

No, I know you don't. I just -

[she twists her cup around in her hands, fiddling.]

He wouldn't let them kill me. He never let me forget I was worthless and unwanted, but his followers wanted him to kill Mama and me, make a clean break of it with all things homo sapien. But he wouldn't. And all these people that despised me had to tolerate my continued existence on the fringes of their super-important headquarters.

And I know Erik is different, but it still feels - I don't want to be put with for his sake.

Edited 2013-06-23 04:58 (UTC)

[Charles puts his down, folding his hands and balancing his elbows on his knees.]

Honestly, I'm glad you brought this up, because I'm tired of everyone assuming the worst of me because of what I am and who I associate with. This isn't some scheme, I'm not solely tolerating you for the sake of other people, and I didn't mean anything by it.

If you're uncomfortable with that, I understand and I'm sorry. I won't bother you anymore.

I like him better than you!

[She says it with half a laugh, strained but amused anyway. It's a bar of medium altitude. The point is - it's not about association. Her problems with Charles are - more or less - between them.]

I guess I just...I believe that you care, the behavioral evidence is there, because I'm Erik's family or because you just want to help everyone or whatever your reasons are. But I can't...disagreement is one thing, but I don't know how to reconcile your disgust with...liking me.

I know it's there, but you almost never show it, which makes everything else seem more like it must be smokescreen.

I know you do. [And he doesn't care, really. It's good for them. He just wishes she liked him more, which is ridiculous, but he really does feel like he's failing at this all over the place.]

It's not. I don't know how to prove that, but it isn't.

Just...criticize me sometimes, don't be so careful, I don't know.

You said you were glad about my honesty.

I have been honest this whole time. You know how I feel about what happened to Wanda, but I'd never want you to be stuck somewhere like that, and I don't want you dead.

If there's opportunity to, I'll try to, but at the moment, I don't have anything particularly critical to say.

[She gives him a look, dubious and torn and a little bit lost, before bursting out,]

It can't be that easy.

In this case, it is. Next time we have a discussion about morality or politics, things might be different.

I'm pretty sure that was a conversation about morality. I was trying to have one, anyway.

I'm not saying it wasn't. I'm saying I might have something different to say next time we're discussing something like this.

You're always so diplomatic.

[Still a litle frustrated, but it's sheepish, too. It's such a ridiculous thing to complain about, except for how much she associates it with seething, hidden hatred. She knows it's irrational, that she's projecting. And yet.]

I'm just being honest.

Okay.

I'll. Try to stop doubting so much.

But you shouldn't...spare my feelings. In general, I mean, not just right now.

I'll keep that in mind. But that honestly isn't what's happening here.

SIXTY ONE ✖ VOICE & SPAM

SPAM too bad B(

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