wedonot | SIXTY ONE ✖ VOICE & SPAM

[Friends Filter]

[Charles sounds tired - and anyone who was in the infirmary right after port ended might have noticed him hovering while people tried to help Zane - but otherwise, actually pretty okay.]

I know we're all exhausted and in need of some relaxation, but if everyone wouldn't mind letting me know you got out alright, I'd appreciate it. And if there's anything I can do for any of you, don't hesitate to let me know.

[Spam for Erik]

[Getting his telepathy back felt like he'd been unblindfolded, and while he had noticed the change immediately, in the first minutes back on the Barge, he hadn't had time to appreciate it. The focus was instead on saving Zane's life, and it wasn't until he was stable and unconscious that Charles had the time to reach out with his gift and reassure himself that they were back, they had made it out, and so had the people he cared about.

He'd checked on the kids first, reassured himself that they were in one piece and mostly in need of rest before anything else, and reassured them that he just needed much of the same before looking for Erik.

It's not difficult. His mind had almost instinctively wrapped itself around the familiar presence as soon as it had been established that Zane would be alright, and so Charles catches up to his friend as Erik's coming down from the deck, a relieved smile immediately stretching across his face as he gets his first good look at him.]

This might be the ultimate instance of the pot calling the kettle black, [Because he knows he's got some cuts on his face and other minor injuries from their time in port, too.] but you look like you're about to fall over.

[ooc: Filter includes but is not limited to the immediate X-Fam, Zane, Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Anya, Pietro, Barbara, Tony, Kelsier, the Emperor, Ivy, and even you, Felix. Basically anyone Charles is friendly with or would have reason to check up with, idk I'm always bad with these filters and end up forgetting someone. /o\

Also, feel free to spam him if you want! He'll probably be pretty unconscious for the first day and a half afterward, but will be up and around after that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There is a moment of silence, as Cassel tries to figure out how to articulate what he thinks about this, and why he thinks it's wrong. It will involve being completely honest and, above all, calm, which is not something he's all that great at.]

I think it's making him worse and making it harder for him to control himself. Because - for me, I didn't know I could do work until I was seventeen. He's known most of his life. Being Mistborn makes him free. He feels more trapped here than he did at home, and that's making it harder for him to get better. You're taking something away, but it's not a privilege, it's a part of him that's only ever been his.

You're his warden. You have his file, so maybe you know more about him than I do. But I really . . . don't think it's that much more. And he shows me when he's in pain. If you put an animal in a cage, it won't get better; it'll just get angry and scared and want to hurt things.

First of all, I understand what it's like to have your abilities taken away from you, and how violating it is. Because of that, I haven't taken his powers away from him, and I've given him ample material to use the abilities that are second nature to him and enhance his senses.

That said, I've restricted his access to some of the other materials because he's already shown on more than one occasion that he doesn't know how to use his abilities responsibly. He hoards metals, uses them too quickly, and tries to con other people into giving him more material, and resorts to stealing it when that doesn't work. As these other abilities are things that could feasibly hurt other people, I don't think it's a good idea to give him free access to something like the ability to manipulate another person's emotions until he shows he won't abuse it.

If he does, [And Charles is pretty sure if he does give him access to it, it won't be "if", it will be "when".] nearly everyone else on board is going to insist that he will have to lose his abilities fully as punishment, and while I won't do that to him, I can't guarantee that another warden wouldn't if I disappeared or we were ever reassigned, and that would undoubtedly feel worse for him.

He feels more trapped here than he did at home because he's not used to being out from under the thumb of his father and assumed that would guarantee him unlimited freedom, but everyone feels trapped on the Barge, warden and inmate alike. I didn't put him in a cage, and I'm not eager to keep him in one. I'm trying to help him escape from it, but that can't be done unless he learns how to use his abilities and in general interact more constructively with others.

He'll have access to the rest of his abilities on a regular basis when he's ready, and we're working on that. He's been training with Kelsier and talking with me, and he's been making progress.

[This . . . gives Cassel pause. Not the same kind of silence as before. What he feels now is something like reluctant guilt. Resignation. He doesn't like it, but there's a sense that maybe on some level Charles is right.]

[He doesn't like that. It feels like a betrayal of Zane, whom he should feel blind loyalty toward. But at the same time, it does make sense.]

Did you explain all of that to him? Because I don't think he understands. I know sometimes he - doesn't understand things on purpose. He puts up walls. [Just like Cassel does.] His feelings can be - walls.

But maybe if you explain it to him he'll feel less hurt. Even if he just feels like he's in a cage, that's the same as being in one, I think.

I've explained parts of it, but I'll talk to him about it again. I've tried to make it clear that he can talk with me about anything, especially this sort of thing, but obviously he's a bit out of practice with this sort of thing.

He's out of practice with being given a shit about, mostly.

Exactly.

So don't fuck it up.

[He's joking. Honestly he's joking.]

I won't.

[Or you know. He'll try, anyway.]

SIXTY ONE ✖ VOICE & SPAM

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