[He's been working on it. He still didn't love talking about himself - he didn't want to burden anyone, and he didn't want them to think that he couldn't handle things - but some recent events had made him warm a little to the idea of confiding in Erik, and he knew he could confide in Merlin.

So he shrugged a little, trying to figure out a good way to put this.]

It didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know. Without Erik, we all would have died in Cuba one way or another. [Except now he knew what it felt like to feel yourself dying, and to know that everyone you'd ever cared about was likely dead or going to die. That he could have done without.] I suppose I'm more worried about what sort of effect knowing that has on him.