wedonot | FIFTY SEVEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

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FIFTY SEVEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

[Warden Filter, backdated to Day One of the flood]

[Again, Charles sounds more tired than anything else when he makes this post, because today is officially going on the record as the longest day of his life, and he'd really, really like it to be over. Like, now.]

Alex and I brought Pietro Maximoff down to Level Zero after he attacked and tried to kill us. I don't know if he's been assigned a warden or not, yet, but if anyone's stepped up to take responsibility for him, he'll probably be awake and hopefully willing to talk in an hour or so. [He might have put him to sleep for a while. B(

He lets out a slow breath before continuing.] Has anyone seen Dr. Banner?

[And everything else in this post is present dated!]

[Friends Filter - if you think you're on it, you are]

I'm sorry I wasn't very available during the flood. [And that's all he really wants to say about it from his end.] How is everyone doing?

[Private to the Admiral]

[As much as he doesn't like you, Boss Man, he's learned how to ask for things from you, and this is important. Also potentially very stupid, but Zane had been right, he could tell what they were used for, and he was more likely to be sympathetic to someone who power reductions literally meant feeling as though they were missing a sense just as important as sight.]

I need a reasonable amount of tin and copper for Zane, enough to keep him comfortable until he's assigned a warden who can continue supplying it. Please.

[Spam for Pietro]

[His first priority after the flood was over was to head down to Zero. As much as he really didn't want to spend time down there ever again after what had happened when Tosh had been in control of the ship, he couldn't just leave Pietro down there, either, and so he's shoving aside his discomfort and heading downstairs to let him out.

He calls over to him before he actually gets in front of the cell, concerned.]

Pietro?

[Spam for Erik]

[It's not really uncommon for them to just invite themselves over, whether for chess or needing to tell the other something or simply because they're bored, and so after letting Pietro out and gently checking to see if Erik would mind the company at all, he heads back to their floor and opens his friend's door instead of his own, closing it behind him and managing a sort of wry-but-pained smile.]

If I wasn't already convinced that meeting you was one of the best things that's ever happened to me, I think this would have cleared up any doubts. [It's supposed to be a joke, making light of the issue because he really, really did not know how to process what had happened at all. They'd talked before about how maybe they did live in the best possible reality, and times like these made Charles think they were right.

He sobers a little when he looks at Erik, a faint line of concern forming between his eyes.] How are you doing?

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[ It's a little like waking from a nightmare, for him, the kind that feels so real and all-consuming that you spend those first few moments of consciousness in unbroken panic, unaware that you've even woken. Except when Pietro comes back to himself, there is no wash of relief, no grateful realization that none of it was real — because it was. He's in Zero. His fists feel like meat because he hurt people. (Wanda is alive.)

It's good that Charles comes quickly. Solitary confinement is hard enough on someone whose concept of time is so elongated, and after how things went the last time Pietro was down here, it does nothing positive for his emotional state now. He comes to the front of the cell when he hears Charles, instinctively moving toward the door. ]

Charles. [ Not 'Xavier', not right now, because he needs to draw that distinction in his mind. ] Are you— is everyone all right?

[Charles looks at him briefly as he approaches, expression mostly unreadable, before focusing on the lock.] We're fine.

[More or less, anyway. Alex was angry, but Charles really couldn't blame him, and he really doubted Erik was 100% okay with what happened, and he was... fine, really, but it wasn't like it had been a fun flood.

He unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping aside to let Pietro out.]

It's not the worst time I've been stabbed.

[ Oh yeah, that. A guilty look crosses his face, although possibly not as guilty as it ought to be. ]

–Sorry. [ Awkward. ] I am usually saner than that.

[ 'Usually.' ]

[ He steps out, not keen on staying down here longer than necessary. ]

[Neither is Charles, really, and he's also not necessarily incredibly eager to really talk about what happened, because he's not sure he wants to know what was going on. He's been blamed for the sins of another man enough for one lifetime.

But considering he'd never almost been murdered for it before, it seemed sort of important to ask what the hell had happened in case it ever became relevant again.]

Can I ask what that was about?

[ Pietro hesitates, as if choosing his words carefully -- and considering how rarely he bothers to do that, perhaps it's telling. He hasn't had time to prepare a lie, though, or even fully process what happened, so what he says is more a half-hearted attempt at evasion than an untruth. ]

Wanda. Apparently that's what happens when the X-Men and the Avengers kill my sister.

[ ...As if him trying to murder everyone is an inevitable consequence, not a choice, he says that. ]

Edited (phone wry) 2013-05-06 18:14 (UTC)

[He doesn't know what to say to that. It's not that he doesn't understand it - he can still remember how helpless and angry he'd been when Toshiko had killed Erik at the Overlook, and the urge to last out at anyone and anything had been there, although he'd held it all back - but he hadn't done it, and Pietro would have known that.

He was really tired of being blamed for things he hadn't done, or had no control over.]

I didn't kill your sister.

I know. [ Pietro nods, and that much is more sincere than anything else he's said. ] You didn't even try.

[ And his Charles Xavier did. He lets the implication hang there for a beat, unspoken. He shouldn't have said that aloud, he shouldn't even let the conversation go down that path, but he needs to remind himself, too, that Charles isn't to blame. It's important (and difficult, with the echos of his other self still rattling around in his head) to make that distinction. ]

I simply didn't care, once she was gone. I thought— it seemed fair somehow, to kill all of you, too, for the things you might do.

[Charles didn't look at him to respond, and he's quiet long enough that there might even be a question as to whether or not he was going to respond, or just walk the rest of the way up from Zero in silence.]

I'm not that person. And I'm tired of being judged for things he did. We share a name, abilities and apparently a face. That's all. I'm not him. [It's quiet and firm - he's not arguing about this.]

When I am in my right mind, you do not need to tell me that. [ It's— a little defensive, yes, because taking responsibility for his actions is not Pietro's favorite thing when he is fully responsible, let alone when he's been replaced by an alternate self, but it's honest, too, in Pietro's usual insensitive sort of way. ] If I had wanted to blame you for his failings, Charles, I would never have trusted you with anything at all.

[ But he has. With Anya even, and with his own sanity that time in Zero, when he hasn't extended a modicum of that trust to, say, Erik. So there's that. ]

I'm glad to hear that.

[And he falls silent again, because he doesn't really know what else to say. It's not really fair to blame Pietro for what happened - things had been different - but at the same time, it's difficult to hear that one slight tip of the scale could result in Pietro attacking people Charles cared about, and while he knew his little ragtag family could take care of themselves, it didn't mean he liked knowing it was on the table.]

[ Silences are always long for Pietro, and this one doesn't pass unnoticed, but he doesn't know how to fill it. He gets that this is awkward, for Charles, but he doesn't actually get why — although he understands, intellectually, that there is a thing he should get, that there's some piece of empathy he's missing sometimes, some inner voice that says what he would do to avenge his sister is wrong, but to him it's a natural reaction to anyone harming Wanda. He does not and never has had a stopping point when it comes to defending her, and it doesn't occur to him that Charles would have expected anything else from him in response to her death.

So he doesn't ask. Somewhere near the top of the stairs, it occurs to him he wouldn't have had the option of asking or not, with any other Xavier. ]

You really don't read anyone's mind, do you? [ Not accusing, just surprised. ]

[He just looks back at him, not really sure where this was going.] No, I don't. Not without permission, anyway.

[These days, he was almost always at least quietly connected to Erik, and Merlin, Jean and Alex didn't seem to mind too much either way about him using his abilities, but otherwise, he did largely keep to himself. He'd learned that lesson the hard way.]

I appreciate that.

[ ... Which may be concerning, when you consider the kinds of things Pietro may prefer to keep to himself, but. Well. There it is. Apparently he hadn't been going anywhere else with that, though, as he doesn't pursue it further. ]

[Charles shrugs.] Most people do.

[He doesn't sound resentful, even if there's a part of him that maybe is, on some days. It's easy for people like Erik to demand people treat them fairly despite his mutation, because his ability wasn't inherently invasive and personal. Charles doesn't really have that luxury, and it was hard sometimes, to know people did hate him for being different.]

Edited (what are grammar) 2013-05-10 05:31 (UTC)

Not everyone would care so much what 'most people' want.

[ He's just saying. He wouldn't, certainly — his mutation isn't invasive, but even if it was, he doesn't reign in what he is for anyone else's benefit. He isn't sure Charles's restraint is better, objectively, but it's probably less selfish. He's reminded of Cap, just a little.

Saying that aloud sounds far too much like being nice, though, so naturally Pietro doesn't linger on the sentiment. ]

Try not to overdo it with that stab wound, will you? [ He adds as an afterthought, turning slightly to go when they reach the appropriate level. ] I'm sure Erik will be sufficiently furious at me without you accidentally keeling over.

[ (Which is speedster for "Take care of yourself.") ]

Edited 2013-05-10 07:33 (UTC)

[Before coming here, he might have been intensely flattered by the comparison - what twelve year old kid in 1944 hadn't idolized Captain America? - and while he still liked Steve quite a bit, some of the mystique had worn off after getting to know him in person.

As it is, he lets the subject drop.]

I'll be fine. [Although you're entirely right about that, which is why Charles has tried not to really discuss the whole thing too much with Erik.] Although I wouldn't necessarily go out of your way to mention it to him.

No, I value my life far more than that.

[ Things that are less funny in context: this.

Nevertheless, he inclines his head in what passes for a goodbye and moves to go. ]

[He's sitting at the chess board, hunched forward with one elbow resting on the edge. It's melancholic, maybe, but he's turning one of the chess pieces over in his hands. Charles' entrance only earns a quick glance up, and the comment gets a vague, brief smile.]

Nothing puts things into perspective quite like a flood, does it. [His gaze flicks up again.] If only they all had such straightforward meanings. [Taste that sarcasm.]

[Oh, he can taste it. But, it's better than he expected in some ways, honestly, and he comes over to take the seat opposite without asking, sliding into the familiar seat and making himself comfortable.]

That doesn't really answer the question, my friend.

I suppose it doesn't. [And he falls silent again, for a little while. He stops toying with the chess piece - the queen - and his palm goes flat. The piece rises from his hand, and the king and a pan join it in the air, hovering.]

I could have had a daughter. A family. And they would have died in a nuclear war.

I know. [And he had been optimistic and lonely and in way over his head, and it's strange to really see it so plainly illustrated, that maybe becoming less naive and more realistic wasn't such a bad thing after all, when he had spent so much time feeling miserable about it before.]

I know this is sort of a weighted issue, considering what we've seen here, [Although Charles would still argue that Erik would be a perfectly good - and perhaps actually somewhat exceptional - parent.] But there's no reason you couldn't, once we go home. We stopped Shaw.

[He's still for a moment, then shakes his head.] Even if she's still alive, somewhere. I can't. There are things more important than my settling down.

What's important is what you want, Erik. You don't have to be exclusively chained to the cause unless you want to be. [And while there were downsides - people you cared about could be used against you in these sort of situations - maybe Magda, or whoever Erik wanted to be with, would want to help and be a part of what they were trying to do here. Dismissing it entirely didn't seem like the only option, here.

And besides:]

And you do have a family, which is very much alive and makes a genuine effort to be supportive, despite our different ways of approaching issues.

[He waves that aside - a yes, yes, I know, but also avoidance of discussing it. He has a family, he understands that, but there are still years of weight on his shoulders, telling him it's a matter of time.]

I already left her, Charles. What I want is to do everything I can to keep our kind safe. I'll sacrifice having a wife and child for that cause if I have to.

[And besides - what faith does he have, that he can be an attentive, kind father and revolutionary as well? None.]

I just want you to be happy. You deserve it. [It's not lecturing, it's just true. If Erik wants this, he'll support him, as long as he's not doing things like threatening to blow up several thousand people.

Don't do that again please. B(]

As long as we're on the subject, though, Alex told Zane we're family. He actually sounded like he was trying to apologize to me for saying it. [Which is just ridiculous, of course they're family. :c]

[No promises B( Several thousand people might try to kill them again B(

That makes his mouth quirk, though, and he looks up with eyebrows raised.]

He was apologizing? [He already thinks of Charles and Alex as family - he just thinks of himself as on the fringe, that uncle you're not sure how you feel about yet. Well - less than he did, but.]

[Oh shut up, you are totally still dad. B( The kids are just slightly hesitant after the whole messy divorce thing.]

I know, I mean, I suppose I shouldn't exactly be surprised, given his history, that he'd be hesitant to throw around labels like that, but. [He's just assumed that he'd communicated that they were family pretty definitively before this, but apparently, he hadn't. Whoops.] God knows I've thought of him as a son well before that breach happened.

[Well okay B(]

I suppose you can't blame any of us for being wary. [But it's good to have them, is the underlying thought, there. It's good to be part of something, to be a family.]

I suppose not. [They really are a group of hideously broken individuals, in a lot of ways, but he can't say he'd change it.] I'm glad it got cleared up, anyway. Maybe I should be better about letting them know about this sort of thing.

[Because god, he really doesn't want to be his mom. :C Don't let him be his mom, Erik. :C]

[Buddy you couldn't be if you tried :C]

I'd hesitate before leaving heartfelt notes in lunchboxes.

[That gets a laugh out of him, because come on, man.]

God, Erik, they're not seven!

[Well he's grinning, so deal.]

Thus my hesitation.

I'll do my best to restrain myself.

[He'll start leaving you notes out of spite.]

[The passive aggressive notes of love war begins.]

I have every faith you'll manage it.

[You both have too much time on your hands.]

Thank you for that.

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FIFTY SEVEN ✖ VOICE/SPAM

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